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I want to go unnoticed. At the gate, there are so many uncomfortable looks as people make it plain that they do not want to be sitting next to you, having any part of your obese body touching theirs. I try to forgive myself for my trespasses. After hauling myself up on stage, I sat down on a tiny wooden chair which cracked, and I realised, I am going to vomit and I am going to fall on my ass in front of all these people. Then I stepped into the bathroom and threw up, ignoring the bitter taste at the back of my throat as I embraced a hollow victory. I was broken and then I broke some more. I think, I am the fattest person in this apartment building.

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Roxane Gay Opens Up About Living ‘In This World In A Fat Body’ On 'Daily Show'

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I was absolutely terrified going into surgery. Eventually my seatmate joined me, and I could instantly tell he was agitated. No matter how small a toilet cubicle is, I avoid the disabled toilet because people like to give me dirty looks when I use that stall merely because I am fat and need more space. I knew she was watching. When I broke my ankle, love was no longer an abstraction.

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I am the fattest person in this restaurant. I need to lie down, I thought. I simply said yes, but I wished I were a braver woman, the kind who would turn his question back on him. I avoid walking with other people as often as possible because walking and talking at the same time is a challenge. There was a boy. For The Rumpus online literary magazine, she wrote about the careless language of sexual violence and other essays based on her experiences. My clothes fall over my body the way they should and then they start to get baggy.

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